Here’s a trick question…

What is the most important part of the wedding day?

1. Proposal

2. Ring

3. Dress

4. Reception

5. Flowers

6. Music

7. Photographer

8. Make-up artist

9. Officiant

Sana and Mitchell, March 2019

Which one did you pick?

Which one did you select? This is a trick question. All these components of the day are important; however, one is essential – the officiant. 

The ceremony of vows and commitment may be the shortest, smallest piece of the wedding, and the period of planning that came before, without the officiant leading the ceremony the couple is not married. And everything else is simply a big, expensive, festive party. 

Hopefully, for many, the choice to formalize a relationship through marriage, is the culmination of two people who met, grew to know, respect, like, and love one another. A couple who has, in some cases, weathered rough times successfully and knows how much safer and empowering the journey can feel if shared with another. 

A marriage ceremony offers to a couple who dreams and sees possibilities on the horizon a way to bless, honor, and legally declare their commitment to one another. A time to say to one and to all: “I choose you.”

While selecting an officiant is not as important as asking someone to marry you, the choice is important. Sometimes I get a couple who says, “we just want someone to say the words and sign the paper.” 

But before you can get to signing the paper moment, there are things to think about:

1. Legitimate. Does your municipality or state recognize the officiant’s credentials?

2. Knowledgeable. Can the officiant explain the basic rules and regulations of the officiant’s role?

3. Creative. Willing to work with you to craft even the simplest ceremony so that it is memorable? Willing to go the extra mile to help you dream?

4. Professional. Contractual transparency – does each party know the contractual expectations?  Do you start events on time; are you punctual, is there a charge if you are not? What happens if the officiant is not punctual?

5. Track Record and Credibility. What do previous couples say about your officiant candidate? (Hint: Find out what ours say about us.)

6. Finally, is there rapport between you and your officiant? While this “relationship” isn’t the most important one in your life, it does have importance because this choice will leave a lasting memory of your special day for all involved.

Ask the questions, think about the answers and trust your gut. 

Your special day is worth the effort.